"Pop"

It is so hard to know what to say at moments like this...
Pop is gone.
We got a call around midnight last night....
I know that the above picture isn't the greatest, but to me this picture has a ton of meaning behind it. It's a picture of "Pop" and Josh and I clearly remember taking it. It was during my first trip to meet my, then boyfriend's, family. It was over the Fourth of July weekend, just nine years ago and Josh's grandparents, "Pop and Grammy" came to celebrate Josh's birthday.
Josh pulled out his bass guitar that he worked so hard to purchase when he was in High School. "Pop" just seemed as happy as he could be spending some time with his grandson that came home from the Army for a little bit.
We've all met those people who hold the true standard of "What you see is what you get..." and that's exactly what comes to mind when I look at this photo.
Anyone who knew "Pop" would, without a doubt, remember that he ALWAYS had a cup of coffee in hand, no matter where he went. He always smiled. And even if he wasn't smiling, it looked like he was smiling. He had a low deep voice that carried a humble tone.
By just watching his actions, you could tell that he was wise, a thinker, someone that probably had a deep understanding of the important things but was never caught stirring the pot with his opinions. He was a long-term planner, but loved to put miles on his "Texas Cadillac" (the Suburban) and with out warning, show up as a nice surprise. He liked to read and loved his quiet "man cave" (his shed) in the back yard. If you were a guy, he'd call you "HOSS." He was strong, and up until the last few months, a very healthy man.

Sometimes it's hard to fathom everything that death really means. We've known for a while that "Pop" was going to die. He had pancreatic cancer and it didn't take long at all after he was diagnosed for him to show the physical signs of the disease. But, even though we had that time to prepare and had certain "timelines", it's hard to not to wish that none of it were true. Yet, there is healing that comes with dying.
While I cry thinking that he won't be around, I rejoice in knowing that he is completely healed. He's no longer in pain. He isn't just skin and bones anymore, but the healthy man he once was. It's hard to wrap grief and thankfulness together into one package.
Today I paged through my Bible to find some comfort and I found this fitting verse. "And the God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10




The two pictures (above) were from last Thanksgiving, just before we found out Pop had cancer.

Anna and Pop, when he was in the nursing home after a try of chemotherapy.

Josh and Pop - same day in the nursing home.

A special moment between Great Pop and Anna - taken 4th of July 2009.

Pop,
We love you and we already miss you terribly. Thank you for all the memories and all the love you showed your family. Take care and know we love you and are so proud to have known you.
Tell Grandpa Tom hello and give us a good chuckle every now and then o.k.?
Love always,
Josh, Heidi, Anna, and Forest
p.s. - we hope the coffee in heaven is always warm and fresh ;)